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What the quarantine taught me about waiting | DIY Two-piece set

Published on by maksu2013Leave a comment

Hello you lovely lot!

I truly hope you’re staying safe amidst all that’s going on in the world and finding pockets of joy in the madness. I made this two piece turtleneck and skirt outfit a while ago for #makeday on Lavendame’s IGTV. Shopping to final product took me two days which really isn’t much, plus I had several breaks in between so I could probably have whipped this up in a few hours. You can catch up on this and other makeday posts here. The world has changed dramatically since then and it’s mind boggling to see how reality has shifted beneath our feet.

I have seen several posts on our collective consciousness which seems to be a mix of wanting this to end right away, wanting to make the most of this time, not wanting to process next steps. People are trying to stay afloat because bills don’t stop, businesses are trying to stay relevant because cash flow is king and in the chaos of it all, there are our trusty distractions; food and Tik Tok challenges to make us feel like the world really isn’t so bad.

The uncertainty of an end date is probably the most maddening of all of it; all we can do is wait. And we hate to wait! We hate long lines, we hate waiting for people who are late, we hate delivery times that are longer than 24hrs, we hate waiting for the bus, I hate waiting for the bus, I hate waiting! I can’t speak for everyone but waiting just isn’t fun! Yea yea you can try to talk up the nervous anticipation and the excitement of finally getting what you want but let’s face it, the best part about waiting is when you don’t have to wait anymore…or is it?

You see, I’ve become somewhat of an expert at this waiting game and I’m here to share my wisdom with you all (Ha! JK). The quarantine has trained me well in this craft and it would be a disservice to you all if I didn’t share.

So while you wait…

  1. Stay present. It’s incredibly easy to miss all the gifts of now because you’re dwelling on what you could have done with the freedom of the past or what you want to do with the freedom of the future. Let’s face it, when you think it through, we’re never really free until we believe we’re free. Just stay here and now because today is the future you once dreamed about.
  2. Stay active. And while physical activity is important, that’s not all. How can you be active for your community? How can you maintain steady progress towards your goals? How can this time in your life be anything but a stand still? Not to freak you out but time will advance whether or not you do. This will always be true in waiting or not. The good thing is you always have the choice to move, they may be slow measured steps but those are your steps and you have agency in that. Don’t let anyone rush you into some half baked quest for productivity and don’t let anyone sedate you into living without intention; you have immeasurable value to offer and the world is ready to receive it once you’re ready to bring it forth.
  3. Stay in touch. With friends and family? Yes! But also with you. Not unlike staying present, staying in touch with yourself means being aware of when you need a break from the noise. It is being aware of when you need help. It is being aware of when you need to rest and when you need to push. Stay in touch with your mental space; are you feeling disconnected, how can you reengage with your world? Sometimes I take a moment to just do a full self scan; where am I tense, am I breathing, am I stressed, am I happy and extremely important for my overall functioning, am I spiritually connected? Bringing your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual states into focus from time to time could help you realign on what may be missing for you at any given time.
  4. Stay home. In your physical house if it is safe to do so because we are all in this together. However, home may be a plethora of things to you; it could be your creative space, it could be calls with those you love, it could be quiet time at 7am in the morning. Find home and stay home; waiting is hard but home is where you bunker the stormy days. I’ve realized that home is where its easiest to love and nourish yourself wholeheartedly.

In all seriousness, I’m still learning how to wait well. None of the tips above are in perfect alignment for me all the time but if I can master waiting for even just a little while longer, this quarantine will have made me better.

I truly pray for anyone reading this that you stay well in this time. I could say something cheesy about cocoons and butterflies but I’ll spare you the analogy and just wish you all my love as we weather the hard days together

Joy Comes

Published on by maksu2013Leave a comment

Hi Guys!

So this phrase has been on my mind for a few weeks now. Joy comes. I really wanted to include a DIY with this post but honestly between a flu and extra long hours at work I didn’t want to add the pressure of rustling something together. Anyhow, joy comes!

2018 has been a big year of growth for me which sounds really great but in reality there have been a lot of growing pains. Coming to terms with things that I need to change about myself and areas that I need to improve. I can’t really say I am where I need to be but I’m definitely starting to gain some perspective.

I have learned that not addressing past hurt doesn’t make it go away 

At some point I decided that steeping in my hurt feelings was a pointless activity and I really just needed to skip ahead to the part where I don’t feel hurt anymore. This could be with situations involving other people or ways that I have hurt myself. This year I have definitely learned that just because I didn’t address my feelings doesn’t mean that those feelings just disappeared. The root cause of whatever that hurt was lingers and slowly creeps back in when you least expect it. While I still don’t think it’s productive to wallow in disappointment, it isn’t healthy to ignore your feelings. I have had to allow myself to not be okay, to work through why I am not okay and I’m hoping I come out on the other side stronger and more capable.

I have learned to forgive myself

Contrary to what you might think, I’m actually not perfect…shocking I know. Surprised me too! Not being perfect means that sometimes I do things that either hurt others or hurt me. I get lazy, I get broody, I can be impetuous and irrational. In all of this, I learned and frankly am still learning to forgive myself when I get things wrong. You can only love others as much as you love you, so if I don’t forgive myself, it would be that much harder to forgive and give grace to other people. This also ties back to my first point about allowing myself acknowledge my feelings because if I’m honest, sometimes I feel guilty about being sad about things for too long. Reading that back, I feel a little silly  but it’s true. I have had to learn to “forgive my feelings” for lack of a better way to frame that. I wouldn’t always feel how I want to but it’s okay and I mean truly okay.

I have learned that an important part of being happy is choosing to be happy. 

Now while I may not always feel the way I want to, I can always choose happy. Choosing happy for me means surrounding myself with positive words and people. Doing nice things for myself like my nails or my hair. Saying good things about myself to myself. Acknowledging what I am grateful for and letting myself dream about the future. Choosing happy isn’t easy but it’s definitely worth it.

In all of this again I say, joy comes. Someone told me that joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness is reactive while joy is proactive. Joy is an overarching state of being that washes over everything in its path. I honestly don’t know why that phrase has been on my mind lately but I really believe it. Joy comes.

It’s the first day of November and we really don’t have much time left in 2018 but I hope joy comes for you real soon 🙂

Let me know in the comments any positive mantras that keep you going

And if not? | Custom infinity dress part 2

Published on by maksu2013Leave a comment

DIY Infinity dress

Hi Guys!

It might be Tuesday but I have not forgotten you. I’m just staying busy and trying to be as productive as possible. Can you believe it’s almost the end of August?! Where did summer go? Technically it’s still summer till I have to break out the cozy sweaters but all these Back to School ads are giving me anxiety even though I’m not going to school this September. In a few short weeks I’ll be 24 which also has me breaking out in stress sweat. I’ll have to unpack that later.

Today, we are here with an update on the infinity dress and – (drumroll please) – we are pretty close to done this week! I have added the lining to the skirt portion and attached this to the top. All that’s left at this point is adding in the zipper, hemming the lining and finishing any raw edges on the inside and of course, a fitting!

The “tails” of this dress still need to be cleaned up

I’m not going to lie, I’m slightly nervous about the fitting. I am very actively trying to banish all self doubt and just be confident that I did this right. It’s like those cooking shows where you’re not allowed to taste as you go. When I sew for myself, I try things on constantly, tweak and adjust as I go. By the time the outfit is complete, I have tried it on at least 4-7 times to make sure everything fits like it should. I’ve mounted this outfit on my mannequin which is set to my client’s measurements but nothing’s quite like trying out the outfit to see how you feel in it you know?

Now this leads me to wonder, is there a time for us to go on faith not feeling? (ooo you better preach gurl!) But seriously, knowing how you feel is very reassuring but what about just trusting that the outcome will be good even if you don’t know how you feel? OR trusting that the outcome will be good even if you feel otherwise? In today’s world we are definitely very heavily directed by how we feel. Everything is a vibe, a gut instinct or in Nina Simone’s words; “Just a feeling”. While I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, it’s certainly easier than making decisions purely based on faith in an outcome.

Experimenting with a few ways to tie the waist band

Now lets take this one level deeper, do you have faith even in the absence of your expected end? To lay that out in practical terms, let’s imagine I’m waiting on the streetcar on a rainy day. First of all, my feeling would be to stay in my house, under my covers, away from all of damp civilization. My next feeling would be to Uber because the streetcar on a rainy day is particularly putrid. Nonetheless I have faith that the streetcar will come and be my cost effective solution to getting to work (my expected end). However, what if the streetcar never comes. It’s come on other days at other times so I know it exists. I’ve seen other streetcars pass by picking up passengers on the other side of the street so I know the process still works like I expect it to. However, what if my streetcar never comes? Do I still have enough faith to walk out the next morning with the expectation that it will?

Yes, the dress will have a slit, just an incognito slit

I don’t necessarily have the answers to any of these questions; this is just where my mind wandered to today. Wish me luck on the dress fitting! Hopefully she loves it.

Let me know in the comments what’s on your mind today.