She can She will | Custom infinity dress part 3

DIY Infinity dress

Hi guys!

It’s been a couple of weeks but I’m back with the finale on this infinity dress. I finally had the fitting I spoke to you about and it went reasonably well. Pinch in the waistband, shorten the hemline and lengthen the tails to wrap around more and we were golden! Infinity dresses can be tricky with figuring out the best way to  wrap them so you’re completely covered and supported. My client decided to supplement her infinity dress with a bandeau in the same color as the lining to give herself a little more flexibility.IMG_20180908_222011

This got me thinking, how do you respond when presented with a potentially challenging situation? As in the case of this dress, the alternative was the possibility of unplanned side boobage so she got creative and engineered herself a solution. While challenging situations don’t always present themselves as wardrobe malfunctions, the same theory applies; seize the opportunity to re-engineer the circumstance in your favour. IMG_20180908_222659

So seeing as I am yet to steer you wrong, here are my top three tips on re-engineering every situation to maximize your benefits. (Disclaimer: I have no way to prove that this is fool-proof. Apply at your own discretion. If symptoms persist after 3 days consult your doctor??)

  1. Assess the situation: You can’t fix a problem that you aren’t aware of . Take the time to suss out everything about the situation and pin point your pain points.
  2. Visualize your intended outcome: Now that you know exactly what you want to fix, simply imagine your life with it fixed! Silly as it may sound, visualizing outcomes helps you gain perspective and a clear picture of what completion or success means to you in any situation.
  3. Make it happen girl!: You are very capable of pulling together the resources required to problem solve and remedy challenging situations. Even if you don’t have these resources within your reach, you likely know someone with the skill-set to support you.

The point of all this is that you should not accept the bare   minimum or a less than ideal circumstance simply because that’s what was handed to you to start with. You can and you absolutely should negotiate circumstances to align with your preferred experience. IMG_20180908_222724

You can start that business even though you have very little money, you can get that degree even though you’re new to the field, you can earn 6 figures even though you’re 25, frankly, your options are limitless! There would be several people who won’t believe in you, just don’t be one of them.

She can and she definitely will.

ps. My birthday was this week 🙂 well probably last week when I publish this. I’ve been taking the time to reflect on the past year and pray for the year ahead. Let me know in the comments any attitudes or goals you would like to carry forward

And if not? | Custom infinity dress part 2

DIY Infinity dress

Hi Guys!

It might be Tuesday but I have not forgotten you. I’m just staying busy and trying to be as productive as possible. Can you believe it’s almost the end of August?! Where did summer go? Technically it’s still summer till I have to break out the cozy sweaters but all these Back to School ads are giving me anxiety even though I’m not going to school this September. In a few short weeks I’ll be 24 which also has me breaking out in stress sweat. I’ll have to unpack that later.

Today, we are here with an update on the infinity dress and – (drumroll please) – we are pretty close to done this week! I have added the lining to the skirt portion and attached this to the top. All that’s left at this point is adding in the zipper, hemming the lining and finishing any raw edges on the inside and of course, a fitting!

The “tails” of this dress still need to be cleaned up

I’m not going to lie, I’m slightly nervous about the fitting. I am very actively trying to banish all self doubt and just be confident that I did this right. It’s like those cooking shows where you’re not allowed to taste as you go. When I sew for myself, I try things on constantly, tweak and adjust as I go. By the time the outfit is complete, I have tried it on at least 4-7 times to make sure everything fits like it should. I’ve mounted this outfit on my mannequin which is set to my client’s measurements but nothing’s quite like trying out the outfit to see how you feel in it you know?

Now this leads me to wonder, is there a time for us to go on faith not feeling? (ooo you better preach gurl!) But seriously, knowing how you feel is very reassuring but what about just trusting that the outcome will be good even if you don’t know how you feel? OR trusting that the outcome will be good even if you feel otherwise? In today’s world we are definitely very heavily directed by how we feel. Everything is a vibe, a gut instinct or in Nina Simone’s words; “Just a feeling”. While I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, it’s certainly easier than making decisions purely based on faith in an outcome.

Experimenting with a few ways to tie the waist band

Now lets take this one level deeper, do you have faith even in the absence of your expected end? To lay that out in practical terms, let’s imagine I’m waiting on the streetcar on a rainy day. First of all, my feeling would be to stay in my house, under my covers, away from all of damp civilization. My next feeling would be to Uber because the streetcar on a rainy day is particularly putrid. Nonetheless I have faith that the streetcar will come and be my cost effective solution to getting to work (my expected end). However, what if the streetcar never comes. It’s come on other days at other times so I know it exists. I’ve seen other streetcars pass by picking up passengers on the other side of the street so I know the process still works like I expect it to. However, what if my streetcar never comes? Do I still have enough faith to walk out the next morning with the expectation that it will?

Yes, the dress will have a slit, just an incognito slit

I don’t necessarily have the answers to any of these questions; this is just where my mind wandered to today. Wish me luck on the dress fitting! Hopefully she loves it.

Let me know in the comments what’s on your mind today.

A work in progress | Custom infinity dress – part 1

Celebrating in the hallway

Hi guys!

My apologies for the missed post last week but I’m back again! Just a quick update, I have finally booked my road test (ahhhh!) I am taking some more driving classes to prepare for the test. Hopefully all goes well and I am certified to drive in about 6 weeks. My first driving lesson didn’t go horribly but it certainly wasn’t great so I have some ways to go.

Learning to drive has definitely been an ordeal for me. I’m still not sure how people get completely comfortable with it. Speaking of things outside my comfort zone, I am also  making a dress for someone other than myself once again!! You might remember the first time I blogged about making a wedding dress, now I’m making a dress for a wedding guest. It’s all come full circle I suppose.

I’ll be making an infinity dress which means she’ll have a few different options on how to wear this dress. The dress is not complete however I wanted to take you all along on the journey with me. I typically post finished products and hardly ever show the process to completion. So far I have made the top portion of the dress which would be the “Infinity” portion. This consists of two strips, 10 inches wide and about 60 inches long. In this case, she wanted to play up the scalloped edges on the beaded lace fabric so I decided to tie it on my mannequin in a way that would showcase this detail. I will keep you updated as I build out the rest of this dress.

Sometimes it feels like, sharing your process is only okay when you know how the story ends. There is vulnerability in sharing the process when you don’t know if everything will be okay. On the one hand things could go flawlessly and you make very few mistakes but on the other hand, things may not work out how you want them to. Then what do you do? I believe you can  still celebrate the process even when it doesn’t work out how you want. This falls neatly in line with my theme for this year which has been about living in the moment. Living in the moment means taking each step in the process like it’s the only one, reveling in the progression if you will.

Celebrating the finished product is great but it often misses much of the drama and emotion that got you there. Perhaps this is why I find occasions like graduations a little underwhelming. You are supposed to celebrate however many years of an education by walking across the stage and smiling. What if smiling doesn’t encapsulate all of the emotion that went into your degree? How do you fit in the smiles, tears, hugs, good grades, bad grades, relationships, breakups, weight gain, successes and failures in a 2 minute walk across the stage? However, if you take the time to appreciate each step and experience in your journey; good or bad, its certainly a more holistic way to celebrate

All of this being said, I will keep you updated when I make the skirt portion of this outfit and any future milestones towards completion.

Another way to tie the top

Let me know in the comments what step in your journey you are celebrating today ❤

 

DIY matching two piece set | Dust and sunshine

Matching 2 piece and fleeting moments

Hey guys!

Back at it again 🙂 This time with the third of my summer DIYs. All the cool kids on the gram are wearing matching sets so I would be remiss if I didn’t hop on this band wagon real quick. While I’m not quite at Insta baddie levels, I think this is pretty cool no? Could pass for a romper together and just as cute as separate pieces. Stunt on’em 3 different ways at the minimum!

When I picked out this fabric I thought of dust. I know that’s a strange thing to endear me to a fabric but it reminded me of being about 3 years old, looking at the flecks of dust in the air highlighted by the sunshine on a Saturday morning in Surulere. Saturday morning specifically because all through the week I had school and was more focused on getting out the door and playing with my friends. Saturday mornings however were for cartoons, breakfast and cleaning. Now at the time, I remember being too young to really be of much help with the Saturday morning chores, so my mom or my sister would ask me to sit on the bed in my siblings’ room while someone else swept the floor. I remember sitting facing the window and seeing the dust rise and actually being able to pick apart tiny flecks in air because of the sunshine. I remember closing my eyes and still being able to see tiny dust particles in the darkness of my shut lids. I’m sure there is a more scientific explanation for this but for me shutting my eyes really tight was my way of holding on the the moments of watching the dust in the sunshine.

Fleeting moments have definitely been on my mind lately. It could seem cliché to talk about how life is short or how we should take the time to smell the roses but think about it; this moment, as you read this, this is the last time you will experience these words for the first time in this way. Time is ever advancing and as much as I would love to freeze tiny pieces of happiness, I can’t. Likewise, I can’t make the hurtful times move any faster. All I can do is be present in my moments, take from them what I can because as quickly as they came, thus they will go away.

More recently, I was thinking back to a time in my life when I would have intellectual arguments every weekend (3504-2106 crew! If you know you know). At the time, it was all bants. We would get worked up making a point that was really just adjacent to the real argument. We would challenge each other’s views and refuse to fully capitulate when the other person’s argument had you beat. As simple as those moments were, I miss them so very much. I realized recently that the last argument we had in that apartment was probably the last time we would all be together in that way, the last time we would all be as young, as easy with each other. We will have other conversations and maybe even for a moment revisit those feelings but I think that moment passed and I didn’t realize it until it was gone.

I guess instead of being sad that a moment is gone I think I can be happy that I was ever in it. Which I guess brings me to my point of being present  and be fully there for your moments today. We’re always chasing our next step and our next level. Reminiscing on the past and could have beens and should have beens. Frankly for many of us when we finally stay in our present moment, its to evaluate all of the things wrong with our now. Instead of fussing about the things that you’re unable to do now or the things you never did or even the things you hope to do, take a moment and watch the dust in the sunshine.

Now like I did last week, I want to lay out some of my goals for this week and I’ll summarize how I’ve done so far on all the things I set out to do this month in a future post.

  1. Be intentional about my present. Take a few minutes at the end of everyday to document moments that I’m thankful for
  2. Downsize my closet
  3. Do some career research

Photos by Willyverse

Its a discipline | Linen drop waist dress

Simplicity for productivity

DIY boat neck linen drop waist dress

Hey guys!

So I’m on a path to simplify my life and my time. Sometimes I really just be doing too much and then end up feeling all burnt out and frazzled, squirreling away productivity pins to my “Do Better” board on Pinterest instead of actually doing the work. I think the key is to do less and do it better. I was just about to go on a tangent on how important it is to say less as well but that’s a topic for another day.

Key hole closure

 

I have seen a bunch of posts and articles lately on why you should NOT multitask which strikes me as odd because I can remember “ability to multitask” being a valued skill to have on your resume. It’s all terribly confusing how the productivity trends ebb and flow. Anyhow I’m on board with the multitasking less team. I wouldn’t say cut it out all together because there is definitely a place and time to multitask but I see how overloading your plate with activities to juggle will just result in doing more stuff but doing them really crappily.

That being said, here’s my game plan:

  1. Plan 3 key activities to accomplish per week.
  2. Actually achieve the 3 activities for the week and not everything else besides what I set out to do
  3. Reward myself for achieving my goals

This week I think I am going to try to wake up at the same time everyday, sign up for additional driving classes and take my braids out. I’ll let you know how this goes but I want to start with small attainable tasks so I hit some quick wins upfront. Future goals will include applying for my Masters, applying for my PMP and actually taking my G2 Test so I can finally drive.

Gathered skirt

Maybe I should start a little series where I update you all on my mini goals for the next three months…hmmm. Let me know if you would like to see that. I’ll probably still do it anyway but definitely let me know if you are interested

photos by Willyverse

Ebb and flow | DIY gingham tiered dress

Summer dresses and growing pains

Hi guys!

It’s been too long since I’ve been here but I’m so glad to be back. Thank you to those who reached out to me and to say they missed my writing 🙂 It really warmed my heart to know that there are people who actually care what I have to say! So I’m coming to you with part 1 of 3 summer outfits I have made in recent times; a gingham tiered dress because we’re picnic blanket chic this summer.

To make this dress, you would need to cut out a couple of rectangles

  • Chest band – long enough to comfortably wrap around your chest (right under your arms) and some seam allowance
  • Straps to hang on and off your shoulders
  • Tiers – each one ~10″ wider than the layer above it. You can do more than 10″ if you want a more pronounced gathered effect.

I decided to create a key hole closure for this dress as I have really been enjoying that look lately but you could easily switch to buttons or a zipper depending on how you feel. 

Madebyaya on YouTube has a great tutorial  on how to create a tiered dress.

Now to get real for a second on why I haven’t really been blogging, I suppose I have really just felt uninspired and creatively drained. I think I’m working my way out of those feelings now but some days are definitely harder than others. I have spoken to a few people about this and it seems oddly common. Yet another quirk of adulting that was conveniently omitted when I was sold the growing up dream. It’s a feeling of giving so much of your time and yourself to your career or responsibilities or things outside of yourself to the point where you feel you have nothing left over. Nothing for you to hold on to that’s just yours, and just about you.

Straps up
Off shoulder

Now what do you do if you find yourself in this rut?

  1. Lock your support system down: It’s very likely that someone close to you has dealt with this before and can help! I have had my family and closest friends pouring into my life in the past few weeks. Uplifting me, encouraging me and allowing me space to slow down.
  2. Reclaim your time: Maxine Waters plays no games with her time and neither should you! Your time is valuable and you deserve to use it in a way that truly benefits you. This means setting boundaries on work requests, declining social engagements if you need to recharge mentally and giving yourself more hours in the day to do the things that give you joy. For me, I have been trying to wake up earlier for a while. Still struggling with this actively but I have found that even if I give my self just an extra half hour in the morning to read my Bible and just stretch in bed before getting ready for work, I’m a lot less grouchy.
  3. Rediscover you: Find who you are without your job and social connections. What do you like and dislike irrespective of popular opinion. What makes you happy? What makes you calm? What makes you mad? Spend some quiet time with your thoughts and make the decision to know you better so you can love you better.

Making this dress was one of those moments of rediscovery for me. I was so glad to have a moment for myself to just be and create something that made me happy. 

I’d love to hear from you; what activities or things make you happy?

photos by Willyverse

A girl worth fighting for | DIY jumpsuit

Learning to love yourself

Hey guys!

 

So late last year, I made this jumpsuit which modeled after a jumpsuit I was supposed to ( but failed to) make for my mom. Turns out it worked just fine when  I made it for myself. I have worn this to one of my choir concerts, a work launch party and church and its always a hit. I used a really boxy blouse and some of my loose fitting work pants as a pattern for this. My goal was to go really loose all over and cinch in the waist so its a bit more forgiving. Something about its just looks like I’m a grown woman who is about her business no?

As I was planning for this post I kept thinking of what I wanted to say. What thoughts, views or stories could I share that would embody this jumpsuit. So I thought of how I felt when I wore it.

I felt powerful

especially when I’m posted up like this

I felt feminine

and I felt comfortable

For some reason this made me think of the Mulan soundtrack, specifically, “a girl worth fighting for”. Don’t ask how I arrived here, that was a long train of thought but all you need to know is this is where we ended up; at a girl worth fighting for. Now you probably don’t need me to but I’ll set the stage. The men of China are off to perform their unsavoury duties of going to war and to lift their spirits they decide to “think of instead a girl worth fighting for”. Of course to the men this really meant “she cute or whateva” and you know “she can cook or whateva” and “she thinks I’m funny or whateva”.

Now if you are a Nigerian girl/woman, at some point in your life someone has probably made reference to your “husband’s house”. This could be about how you should behave in this nirvana or how unfit you are to attain the priviledge of your husband’s house; no matter the form, the underlying message seems to be “be the girl worth fighting for”. Be cute and demure. Be entertaining but not in a way that overshadows him. Cook and nurture and be all things to all men really. I guess this wouldn’t be so problematic to me if we held everyone to this standard irrespective of gender but that’s a topic with plenty literature if you’re interested.

All that being said, I think we should all strive to be the girl worth fighting for 🙂 . Not in the traditional way of course. The girl you fight to become may not be the girl that every man wants but if she’s girl that you are proud to be then that’s where I want you to begin. I am fighting to be the girl that wakes up everyday knowing that she’s valuable. The girl that invests in herself and knows that it is not selfish to do so. The girl that actively enriches the lives of those around her. The girl that understands the need for balance in her life. The girl that holds herself to a standard of excellence in whatever she chooses to do because she knows mediocrity is not a good look. The girl that achieves her goals, that is true to herself and her beliefs. The girl who understands that she has choices to make and that her life should not be dictated by the requirements and expectations of other people. That’s the girl I’m fighting for everyday and I think she’s worth fighting for.

Pictures by Willyverse