DIY Infinity dress Hi Guys! It might be Tuesday but I have not forgotten you. I’m just staying busy and trying to be as productive as possible. Can you believe it’s almost the end of… More
First of all I want to say I’m incredibly proud of myself for delivering a post every week for the last 4 weeks!! It’s the little milestones that keep you going you know. Without getting too long winded with this but it’s incredibly helpful for your psyche to celebrate yourself. It helps keep you going! So now to my other goals that I have shared with you over the last two weeks let’s see how I’ve done shall we?
- Wake up at 7am: I did relatively well on this in the first week. I woke up at 7am everyday but 1 in the first week I made this goal. This habit gave me a more relaxed start to my day and I was a lot less anxious in general. I felt more productive and happier having successfully woken up when I planned to. In the second week I relapsed into my regular sleeping habits for a little while because old habits really do die hard. I noticed though that my body would stir at 7am and I was making a choice to sleep past it. I’m back on the 7am kick and while it’s not incredibly pleasant rolling out of bed, I’m always happier for it.
- Sign up for driving lessons: I didn’t quite follow through with this goal but I made some moves in this direction. I contacted my driving instructor to confirm the process of re-enrolling for driving classes and as I type I have the G2 site open to book my road test. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about booking this because the worst possible thing that could happen is that I fail the test and honestly I wouldn’t be the first or last so I really should just bite the bullet and do it. I’ll keep you posted on this one when I finally work the nerve to book it
- Take my braids down: I did this!! Let my curly curls down. I mean I’m thinking of my next protective style but the braids came out anyway.
- Take a few minutes at the end of everyday to document moments that I’m thankful for: I really didn’t do this a whole lot unfortunately. I would like to carry this forward because I think its really important to be mindful of the good things that happen in your life
- Downsize my closet: I offloaded some items from my closet but I’m sure I could lighten up a little more. I will keep taking the opportunity to refine and pick out things from my wardrobe
- Do some career research: I am yet to dive deep into this but I have my to-do list prepared to tackle this goal
So in a nut shell I made progress on a good chunk of my goals but there’s room to do more :). Let me know in the comments any goals you’d like to work on this month.
Matching 2 piece and fleeting moments
Back at it again 🙂 This time with the third of my summer DIYs. All the cool kids on the gram are wearing matching sets so I would be remiss if I didn’t hop on this band wagon real quick. While I’m not quite at Insta baddie levels, I think this is pretty cool no? Could pass for a romper together and just as cute as separate pieces. Stunt on’em 3 different ways at the minimum!
When I picked out this fabric I thought of dust. I know that’s a strange thing to endear me to a fabric but it reminded me of being about 3 years old, looking at the flecks of dust in the air highlighted by the sunshine on a Saturday morning in Surulere. Saturday morning specifically because all through the week I had school and was more focused on getting out the door and playing with my friends. Saturday mornings however were for cartoons, breakfast and cleaning. Now at the time, I remember being too young to really be of much help with the Saturday morning chores, so my mom or my sister would ask me to sit on the bed in my siblings’ room while someone else swept the floor. I remember sitting facing the window and seeing the dust rise and actually being able to pick apart tiny flecks in air because of the sunshine. I remember closing my eyes and still being able to see tiny dust particles in the darkness of my shut lids. I’m sure there is a more scientific explanation for this but for me shutting my eyes really tight was my way of holding on the the moments of watching the dust in the sunshine.
Fleeting moments have definitely been on my mind lately. It could seem cliché to talk about how life is short or how we should take the time to smell the roses but think about it; this moment, as you read this, this is the last time you will experience these words for the first time in this way. Time is ever advancing and as much as I would love to freeze tiny pieces of happiness, I can’t. Likewise, I can’t make the hurtful times move any faster. All I can do is be present in my moments, take from them what I can because as quickly as they came, thus they will go away.
More recently, I was thinking back to a time in my life when I would have intellectual arguments every weekend (3504-2106 crew! If you know you know). At the time, it was all bants. We would get worked up making a point that was really just adjacent to the real argument. We would challenge each other’s views and refuse to fully capitulate when the other person’s argument had you beat. As simple as those moments were, I miss them so very much. I realized recently that the last argument we had in that apartment was probably the last time we would all be together in that way, the last time we would all be as young, as easy with each other. We will have other conversations and maybe even for a moment revisit those feelings but I think that moment passed and I didn’t realize it until it was gone.
I guess instead of being sad that a moment is gone I think I can be happy that I was ever in it. Which I guess brings me to my point of being present and be fully there for your moments today. We’re always chasing our next step and our next level. Reminiscing on the past and could have beens and should have beens. Frankly for many of us when we finally stay in our present moment, its to evaluate all of the things wrong with our now. Instead of fussing about the things that you’re unable to do now or the things you never did or even the things you hope to do, take a moment and watch the dust in the sunshine.
Now like I did last week, I want to lay out some of my goals for this week and I’ll summarize how I’ve done so far on all the things I set out to do this month in a future post.
- Be intentional about my present. Take a few minutes at the end of everyday to document moments that I’m thankful for
- Downsize my closet
- Do some career research
Photos by Willyverse
Simplicity for productivity
So I’m on a path to simplify my life and my time. Sometimes I really just be doing too much and then end up feeling all burnt out and frazzled, squirreling away productivity pins to my “Do Better” board on Pinterest instead of actually doing the work. I think the key is to do less and do it better. I was just about to go on a tangent on how important it is to say less as well but that’s a topic for another day.
I have seen a bunch of posts and articles lately on why you should NOT multitask which strikes me as odd because I can remember “ability to multitask” being a valued skill to have on your resume. It’s all terribly confusing how the productivity trends ebb and flow. Anyhow I’m on board with the multitasking less team. I wouldn’t say cut it out all together because there is definitely a place and time to multitask but I see how overloading your plate with activities to juggle will just result in doing more stuff but doing them really crappily.
That being said, here’s my game plan:
- Plan 3 key activities to accomplish per week.
- Actually achieve the 3 activities for the week and not everything else besides what I set out to do
- Reward myself for achieving my goals
This week I think I am going to try to wake up at the same time everyday, sign up for additional driving classes and take my braids out. I’ll let you know how this goes but I want to start with small attainable tasks so I hit some quick wins upfront. Future goals will include applying for my Masters, applying for my PMP and actually taking my G2 Test so I can finally drive.
Maybe I should start a little series where I update you all on my mini goals for the next three months…hmmm. Let me know if you would like to see that. I’ll probably still do it anyway but definitely let me know if you are interested
photos by Willyverse
Summer dresses and growing pains
It’s been too long since I’ve been here but I’m so glad to be back. Thank you to those who reached out to me and to say they missed my writing 🙂 It really warmed my heart to know that there are people who actually care what I have to say! So I’m coming to you with part 1 of 3 summer outfits I have made in recent times; a gingham tiered dress because we’re picnic blanket chic this summer.
To make this dress, you would need to cut out a couple of rectangles
- Chest band – long enough to comfortably wrap around your chest (right under your arms) and some seam allowance
- Straps to hang on and off your shoulders
- Tiers – each one ~10″ wider than the layer above it. You can do more than 10″ if you want a more pronounced gathered effect.
Madebyaya on YouTube has a great tutorial on how to create a tiered dress.
Now to get real for a second on why I haven’t really been blogging, I suppose I have really just felt uninspired and creatively drained. I think I’m working my way out of those feelings now but some days are definitely harder than others. I have spoken to a few people about this and it seems oddly common. Yet another quirk of adulting that was conveniently omitted when I was sold the growing up dream. It’s a feeling of giving so much of your time and yourself to your career or responsibilities or things outside of yourself to the point where you feel you have nothing left over. Nothing for you to hold on to that’s just yours, and just about you.
Now what do you do if you find yourself in this rut?
- Lock your support system down: It’s very likely that someone close to you has dealt with this before and can help! I have had my family and closest friends pouring into my life in the past few weeks. Uplifting me, encouraging me and allowing me space to slow down.
- Reclaim your time: Maxine Waters plays no games with her time and neither should you! Your time is valuable and you deserve to use it in a way that truly benefits you. This means setting boundaries on work requests, declining social engagements if you need to recharge mentally and giving yourself more hours in the day to do the things that give you joy. For me, I have been trying to wake up earlier for a while. Still struggling with this actively but I have found that even if I give my self just an extra half hour in the morning to read my Bible and just stretch in bed before getting ready for work, I’m a lot less grouchy.
- Rediscover you: Find who you are without your job and social connections. What do you like and dislike irrespective of popular opinion. What makes you happy? What makes you calm? What makes you mad? Spend some quiet time with your thoughts and make the decision to know you better so you can love you better.
I’d love to hear from you; what activities or things make you happy?
photos by Willyverse
Learning to love yourself
So late last year, I made this jumpsuit which modeled after a jumpsuit I was supposed to ( but failed to) make for my mom. Turns out it worked just fine when I made it for myself. I have worn this to one of my choir concerts, a work launch party and church and its always a hit. I used a really boxy blouse and some of my loose fitting work pants as a pattern for this. My goal was to go really loose all over and cinch in the waist so its a bit more forgiving. Something about its just looks like I’m a grown woman who is about her business no?
As I was planning for this post I kept thinking of what I wanted to say. What thoughts, views or stories could I share that would embody this jumpsuit. So I thought of how I felt when I wore it.
I felt powerful
I felt feminine
and I felt comfortable
For some reason this made me think of the Mulan soundtrack, specifically, “a girl worth fighting for”. Don’t ask how I arrived here, that was a long train of thought but all you need to know is this is where we ended up; at a girl worth fighting for. Now you probably don’t need me to but I’ll set the stage. The men of China are off to perform their unsavoury duties of going to war and to lift their spirits they decide to “think of instead a girl worth fighting for”. Of course to the men this really meant “she cute or whateva” and you know “she can cook or whateva” and “she thinks I’m funny or whateva”.
Now if you are a Nigerian girl/woman, at some point in your life someone has probably made reference to your “husband’s house”. This could be about how you should behave in this nirvana or how unfit you are to attain the priviledge of your husband’s house; no matter the form, the underlying message seems to be “be the girl worth fighting for”. Be cute and demure. Be entertaining but not in a way that overshadows him. Cook and nurture and be all things to all men really. I guess this wouldn’t be so problematic to me if we held everyone to this standard irrespective of gender but that’s a topic with plenty literature if you’re interested.
All that being said, I think we should all strive to be the girl worth fighting for 🙂 . Not in the traditional way of course. The girl you fight to become may not be the girl that every man wants but if she’s girl that you are proud to be then that’s where I want you to begin. I am fighting to be the girl that wakes up everyday knowing that she’s valuable. The girl that invests in herself and knows that it is not selfish to do so. The girl that actively enriches the lives of those around her. The girl that understands the need for balance in her life. The girl that holds herself to a standard of excellence in whatever she chooses to do because she knows mediocrity is not a good look. The girl that achieves her goals, that is true to herself and her beliefs. The girl who understands that she has choices to make and that her life should not be dictated by the requirements and expectations of other people. That’s the girl I’m fighting for everyday and I think she’s worth fighting for.
Pictures by Willyverse
White lace bubu and social navigation
So last summer, I got to attend a wedding as my boyfriend’s date which was super grown up to me but apparently is something regular people do…who knew? For the traditional wedding, the colors were all white with red accents so I figured this may be a fine opportunity to make my dress. The dress ended up being a pretty simple project, fold in half, cut out a neck hole, sew up the sides a few inches in to create the waterfall arms and add a collar! Easy peasy lemon squeezey.
In addition to just being excited for a new project, I knew I was probably only going to know maybe 3 people at this wedding, I figured it might be a conversation starter. Now the catch is, I suck at bringing up my sewing in conversation (lol) and I’m also really awkward around new crowds. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous about the ordeal and perspiring heavily.
I see people who move effortlessly through crowds and are able to completely be themselves from the first conversation and they baffle me. In a good way of course but baffled nonetheless. No don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate meeting people and I don’t spontaneously combust into flames of anxiety and frustration when posed with the opportunity to face people I don’t know. My main concern is usually that I have no control over the version of me they meet that day and following up as my regular self just gets harder from that point. For some reason, when I meet new people, my voice gets a little high pitched or my accent sounds a pinch more Canadian. I can never hear it in the moment but I can read it in the reactions of others who either try to mirror my accent or who question whether I grew up in Canada.
Honestly I think my real undoing starts with the introductions. I don’t have a very common name so even growing up in Nigeria, I got pretty comfortable with my name being mispronounced. I wonder if anyone experiences as much stress as I do when people ask me what my name is. I now spell my name on autopilot just to save people the trouble of calling me Enai. For the record, my name (Enang) is pronounced as follows: EH–as in Canada eh!–Nang–as in bang with an N. I think it may be too late for some of my friends now because like I said I got so used to mispronunciations that I’d settle for good enough.
So between awkward introductions that always last too long and involuntarily starting conversations in a Canadian accent that I can never seem to reign in on demand, this is my SOS. All my socially savvy readers, how do you do it??? How do you navigate the crowds and finesse the awkwardness?
Pictures by Willyverse
This isn’t a premeditated post. I feel it’s been a little while since I’ve come on here just to write about something that wasn’t particularly important or serious…you know just a regular shmegular chat about life and living. So let start with where I am right now. Sitting on my bed, legs crossed, still in my work clothes (lol my mum won’t be too pleased), belt unbuckled because dinner needs to settle and this bra is about to clock out of her shift because comfort is key friends. I had a to-do list for this evening but I also kinda knew I wasn’t really going to get around to much. I’ve spoken to a couple people lately about how I feel like I am not being productive outside of work. Maybe it’s a temporary thing or maybe I need to stop being lazy and actually do the things I need to do. I guess me writing this post is one of those things.
Which reminds me and I’m not sure how these two things are related but I need to create a budget for this year if I’m going to meet my financial target at all! It’s so funny how quickly money leaves your account when you’re not tracking every dollar spent. Ever wondered where the slang “cake” as it refers to money came from? weird.
I had a couple weird dreams last night. Don’t judge me but I think its partly because I slept in some of my “Outside” clothes. Dreams are a funny thing. You know it can’t be real but that doesn’t stop you from being fully immersed. I guess that brings up the difference between dreams and thoughts or maybe even dreams and perception. You know your perception is only one aspect of a larger reality but that doesn’t stop you from defending it as if it were the whole truth. Does that mean dreams are the same? One perspective of a larger reality?
Some times I wonder if we think any more and I mean really think. Remember when you were little and learning to wear your shoes for the first time? okay maybe not the first time but that experience as a whole. I remember thinking really hard about why switching which foot I wore my shoes on made such a difference in my comfort. I remember thinking about why I couldn’t read the reflection of my hand writing in a mirror but if I wrote on the mirror I would be able to read it.
Sometimes we should pause
Yea I know it’s been said a thousand times before but really just pause and listen. Watch the dust fall. Blink hard. Be present. Avocado <Ha! you didn’t see that coming did you?
Writing like this is particularly fun for me. I’m not concerned about being clear or succinct or using a bunch of fancy words to impress you. I’m just writing as it rolls in my mind. mmm sushi.
Kay I’m done now. Follow your dreams people 🙂 Unless your dream is to be a bad person then you know maybe reconsider
Haha okay I’m done for real.