So I’m on a path to simplify my life and my time. Sometimes I really just be doing too much and then end up feeling all burnt out and frazzled, squirreling away productivity pins to my “Do Better” board on Pinterest instead of actually doing the work. I think the key is to do less and do it better. I was just about to go on a tangent on how important it is to say less as well but that’s a topic for another day.
I have seen a bunch of posts and articles lately on why you should NOT multitask which strikes me as odd because I can remember “ability to multitask” being a valued skill to have on your resume. It’s all terribly confusing how the productivity trends ebb and flow. Anyhow I’m on board with the multitasking less team. I wouldn’t say cut it out all together because there is definitely a place and time to multitask but I see how overloading your plate with activities to juggle will just result in doing more stuff but doing them really crappily.
That being said, here’s my game plan:
Plan 3 key activities to accomplish per week.
Actually achieve the 3 activities for the week and not everything else besides what I set out to do
Reward myself for achieving my goals
This week I think I am going to try to wake up at the same time everyday, sign up for additional driving classes and take my braids out. I’ll let you know how this goes but I want to start with small attainable tasks so I hit some quick wins upfront. Future goals will include applying for my Masters, applying for my PMP and actually taking my G2 Test so I can finally drive.
Maybe I should start a little series where I update you all on my mini goals for the next three months…hmmm. Let me know if you would like to see that. I’ll probably still do it anyway but definitely let me know if you are interested
It’s been too long since I’ve been here but I’m so glad to be back. Thank you to those who reached out to me and to say they missed my writing 🙂 It really warmed my heart to know that there are people who actually care what I have to say! So I’m coming to you with part 1 of 3 summer outfits I have made in recent times; a gingham tiered dress because we’re picnic blanket chic this summer.
To make this dress, you would need to cut out a couple of rectangles
Chest band – long enough to comfortably wrap around your chest (right under your arms) and some seam allowance
Straps to hang on and off your shoulders
Tiers – each one ~10″ wider than the layer above it. You can do more than 10″ if you want a more pronounced gathered effect.
I decided to create a key hole closure for this dress as I have really been enjoying that look lately but you could easily switch to buttons or a zipper depending on how you feel.
Madebyaya on YouTube has a great tutorial on how to create a tiered dress.
Now to get real for a second on why I haven’t really been blogging, I suppose I have really just felt uninspired and creatively drained. I think I’m working my way out of those feelings now but some days are definitely harder than others. I have spoken to a few people about this and it seems oddly common. Yet another quirk of adulting that was conveniently omitted when I was sold the growing up dream. It’s a feeling of giving so much of your time and yourself to your career or responsibilities or things outside of yourself to the point where you feel you have nothing left over. Nothing for you to hold on to that’s just yours, and just about you.
Now what do you do if you find yourself in this rut?
Lock your support system down: It’s very likely that someone close to you has dealt with this before and can help! I have had my family and closest friends pouring into my life in the past few weeks. Uplifting me, encouraging me and allowing me space to slow down.
Reclaim your time: Maxine Waters plays no games with her time and neither should you! Your time is valuable and you deserve to use it in a way that truly benefits you. This means setting boundaries on work requests, declining social engagements if you need to recharge mentally and giving yourself more hours in the day to do the things that give you joy. For me, I have been trying to wake up earlier for a while. Still struggling with this actively but I have found that even if I give my self just an extra half hour in the morning to read my Bible and just stretch in bed before getting ready for work, I’m a lot less grouchy.
Rediscover you: Find who you are without your job and social connections. What do you like and dislike irrespective of popular opinion. What makes you happy? What makes you calm? What makes you mad? Spend some quiet time with your thoughts and make the decision to know you better so you can love you better.
Making this dress was one of those moments of rediscovery for me. I was so glad to have a moment for myself to just be and create something that made me happy.
I’d love to hear from you; what activities or things make you happy?
So last summer, I got to attend a wedding as my boyfriend’s date which was super grown up to me but apparently is something regular people do…who knew? For the traditional wedding, the colors were all white with red accents so I figured this may be a fine opportunity to make my dress. The dress ended up being a pretty simple project, fold in half, cut out a neck hole, sew up the sides a few inches in to create the waterfall arms and add a collar! Easy peasy lemon squeezey.
In addition to just being excited for a new project, I knew I was probably only going to know maybe 3 people at this wedding, I figured it might be a conversation starter. Now the catch is, I suck at bringing up my sewing in conversation (lol) and I’m also really awkward around new crowds. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous about the ordeal and perspiring heavily.
I see people who move effortlessly through crowds and are able to completely be themselves from the first conversation and they baffle me. In a good way of course but baffled nonetheless. No don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate meeting people and I don’t spontaneously combust into flames of anxiety and frustration when posed with the opportunity to face people I don’t know. My main concern is usually that I have no control over the version of me they meet that day and following up as my regular self just gets harder from that point. For some reason, when I meet new people, my voice gets a little high pitched or my accent sounds a pinch more Canadian. I can never hear it in the moment but I can read it in the reactions of others who either try to mirror my accent or who question whether I grew up in Canada.
Honestly I think my real undoing starts with the introductions. I don’t have a very common name so even growing up in Nigeria, I got pretty comfortable with my name being mispronounced. I wonder if anyone experiences as much stress as I do when people ask me what my name is. I now spell my name on autopilot just to save people the trouble of calling me Enai. For the record, my name (Enang) is pronounced as follows: EH–as in Canada eh!–Nang–as in bang with an N. I think it may be too late for some of my friends now because like I said I got so used to mispronunciations that I’d settle for good enough.
So between awkward introductions that always last too long and involuntarily starting conversations in a Canadian accent that I can never seem to reign in on demand, this is my SOS. All my socially savvy readers, how do you do it??? How do you navigate the crowds and finesse the awkwardness?
This isn’t a premeditated post. I feel it’s been a little while since I’ve come on here just to write about something that wasn’t particularly important or serious…you know just a regular shmegular chat about life and living. So let start with where I am right now. Sitting on my bed, legs crossed, still in my work clothes (lol my mum won’t be too pleased), belt unbuckled because dinner needs to settle and this bra is about to clock out of her shift because comfort is key friends. I had a to-do list for this evening but I also kinda knew I wasn’t really going to get around to much. I’ve spoken to a couple people lately about how I feel like I am not being productive outside of work. Maybe it’s a temporary thing or maybe I need to stop being lazy and actually do the things I need to do. I guess me writing this post is one of those things.
Which reminds me and I’m not sure how these two things are related but I need to create a budget for this year if I’m going to meet my financial target at all! It’s so funny how quickly money leaves your account when you’re not tracking every dollar spent. Ever wondered where the slang “cake” as it refers to money came from? weird.
I had a couple weird dreams last night. Don’t judge me but I think its partly because I slept in some of my “Outside” clothes. Dreams are a funny thing. You know it can’t be real but that doesn’t stop you from being fully immersed. I guess that brings up the difference between dreams and thoughts or maybe even dreams and perception. You know your perception is only one aspect of a larger reality but that doesn’t stop you from defending it as if it were the whole truth. Does that mean dreams are the same? One perspective of a larger reality?
Some times I wonder if we think any more and I mean really think. Remember when you were little and learning to wear your shoes for the first time? okay maybe not the first time but that experience as a whole. I remember thinking really hard about why switching which foot I wore my shoes on made such a difference in my comfort. I remember thinking about why I couldn’t read the reflection of my hand writing in a mirror but if I wrote on the mirror I would be able to read it.
Sometimes we should pause
Yea I know it’s been said a thousand times before but really just pause and listen. Watch the dust fall. Blink hard. Be present. Avocado <Ha! you didn’t see that coming did you?
Writing like this is particularly fun for me. I’m not concerned about being clear or succinct or using a bunch of fancy words to impress you. I’m just writing as it rolls in my mind. mmm sushi.
Kay I’m done now. Follow your dreams people 🙂 Unless your dream is to be a bad person then you know maybe reconsider
I’m back again with another DIY, however I kinda like the format of my last post where I kinda spoke about something completely unrelated to the outfit. I’ll try to balance my regular style of briefing you all on my creative process with my general musings in the next couple posts and we’ll see how that goes mmkay?
Now a little backstory, I was in Nigeria last summer and as my mum and I do, we were pow-wowing over fabrics and fashion and generally being girlie girls when this delicious fabric turned up. She mentioned she’d had it for ages and was highly unlikely to use it so I swiftly scooped this bad boy up amidst promises to make a skirt or co-ords set before she had time to reconsider. Truth be told, I had no real idea what I wanted to do with it, I just knew I had to have it.
This segues beautifully to a thought I’ve been grappling with lately. I strongly believe in the value of learning and absorbing information however I’ve recently had to explore the “why” behind all this data gathering. As many people may be able to relate to, we spend so much of our lives gathering data about the strangest things, some of which we may never use outside of awkward small talk on a second date with that guy you met at the gym. For example, the plastic on the end of a shoelace is called an aglet. Now, it’s highly unlikely that I’d ever utter the words “Oh you just stepped on my aglet” or “My aglets are really shiny today” but it’s a word I know and enjoy knowing.
I suppose my dilemma is really this: if there is no purpose or direct use for this information, do I still need to gather it? Should we only learn things that are relevant for our goals and if yes, how do we determine the bounds of relevance?
To answer my question –and please feel free to leave any dissenting thoughts in the comments– I don’t think all learning must be geared towards a particular goal. I say learn the cookey, quirky, random bits and roll with the tide! Just as I had no idea what I was going to do with this fabric when I picked it up, take on something new even if you don’t know where it fits. As long as it piques your interest, what’s the harm?
Another fine example of the value of rolling with tide would be this pretty little frayed hem I got going here. I saw this technique in a video about a year ago but hadn’t tried till now. When I watched the video, I was probably on a YouTube binge but somehow it’s found a purpose.
Is it okay to know, just so you know or must you know so you can do?
Soooo if you hadn’t guessed it’s my birthday 🙂 . I will be posting about this jumpsuit soon btw jsyk ;). Anyhow, I’m really here to leave a note to my self. I thought it would be a fun exercise to think of 3 things I have learned in my now 23 years of living and 3 things I want to learn going forward. So without much ado, here goes:
Things I have learned
With friendships and relationships, quality trumps quantity. It’s easier and far more fulfilling to keep up with a select few knowing that you are giving the very best of your self to them and receiving the same.
It’s okay to be afraid. Not to borrow too heavily from Mulan here but it really is. Bravery is acting in spite of your fears. You can achieve great things when you challenge your fears.
Second chances are a beautiful thing. To be given a second chance is one thing but to give a second chance and see meaningful change is truly special.
Things I would like to learn
To be truly confident in my abilities and my beliefs even when it is uncomfortable to be
To let go.
To learn when to use my voice to initiate change and when to draw back
That being said, I feel very calm about the year ahead. I am grateful to God for so many things but on this day, I am especially grateful for life, family, friends and love.
“You will never attempt anything greater than your self-image”
I went zip-lining for the first time this week and I should preface that by saying I am deathly afraid of heights so this experience was truly ground breaking for me. When I opened my eyes for the first time as I zipped over the lake, the first thought that came to mind was how breathtaking the view was. I completely forgot in that moment all the fears that had glued my feet to the starting board and when I made it to the other side, zipping back didn’t seem like the most terrifying thing to do anymore.
I’ve been thinking a bit about self-doubt, fear and the relationship between the two lately and I have concluded that self-doubt just gets in the way of being your best self. I’ve also thought deeply about who “self” is and why “self” is so easy to doubt but I wouldn’t get too into the weeds with that. Point is, in a world where we are almost constantly required to seek validation from one source or the other, it gets easier to fear that you don’t quite measure up.
Seeking validation is exhausting. Am I smart enough to graduate yet? Am I qualified enough to get this job yet? Am I good enough to keep this job? Am I cute enough? Fun enough? Creative enough? Talented enough? Have I pushed hard enough? Am I enough?
Whether it’s worrying about what other people will think, worrying that you would let people down or worrying that you are already not good enough, I say try anyway. Try because in the middle of the line, the view is unparalleled, you are that much closer to succeeding and the fears you feel now fade into memories.