Tag: begin

The Nigerian Woman|The Introduction

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begin-shift dress

Hey guys!

I know it has been a while since I’ve been on here. I have been working on a small series about Nigerian women. I’m Nigerian, a Christian, working on being a grown woman, a creative with a head of curly hair that isn’t always cooperative and I love a good debate. I lived in Nigeria all my life till I moved to Canada for school. Every now and again when I meet people they ask if I’m Nigerian, you know “really” Nigerian. Sometimes I wonder what that means, what it means to be “really” Nigerian. What validates one person’s nationality over another. More than that, I wonder what it means to be a Nigerian female.

On the one hand being a female in Nigeria presents a host of patriarchal issues. There are more than enough people ready to tell you how you need to look and act and talk, where you can work, what you can be, when you should be married and how you should keep said marriage. With the host of do’s and don’t’s, sometimes we lose sight of how actual Nigerian women see themselves. This is why I decided to do this series; to remind myself and learn a little bit more about what it really means to be a Nigerian woman.

I found a few truly amazing women to share their stories with me and I will share those with you over the course of the next few weeks but before I do I thought I’d ring you in with this little introduction. Hope you enjoy!! 🙂

Live!

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my fourth year in review

This entire school year I had one goal; to live. To truly take advantage of all the experiences that I could and just get out there. This was kind of a fall out from my whole “turning 20” crisis where I just had no clue what I had achieved in 2 decades of living. Anyhow with this new quest for life outside my comfort zone I packed on a lot of activities that made my fourth year awesometastic. Here are my top 10 favorite memories.

10. Taking a course that had nothing to do with my major

I took a couple of these actually; Graphic novel, Anthropology of Youth Culture and for a little while I took Computational thinking (aka programming for the arts student). I truly valued this experience because it gave me a chance to breathe from all of the social justice thinking for a little while and gain fresh perspective.

9. Travel

Okay I didn’t do a whole lot of travelling but I did go to San Francisco and it was absolutely beeyoutiful! Wasn’t nearly as warm as I had hoped it would be but that was a great trip with a truly awesome tour guide (Shout out to Afrolems!).

San Fran_Begin

8. Network

This year, I feel like I put myself out there a bit more than I normally would. I went to networking events, signed myself up for responsibilities (may have overdone it on this one) and really tried to engage people out of my immediate circle. The pay-off? Amazing friends that I may never have made if I didn’t try and being inspired to do a little bit more.

7. Work

Praise Jesus I had a job in my fourth year. I was the mentorship assistant to the student life coordinator working in the Dean of Students office. Can you tell I love saying that? I don’t think I could have had a job that was better suited to me in my last year. They were always so understanding and eager to offer me opportunities that I may not have known about on my own. I already miss everyone there and I’m so grateful to have met them.

6. Singing in front of people

So in keeping with my whole pushing out of my comfort zone, I volunteered to sing a solo part in my choir (UTGC whoop whoop!!). Singing in front of people makes me pretty nervous so for the most part I just sing around my family and a few of my friends. I was definitely taking a bit of a leap with a solo. I had planned to sing it an octave higher than I did but when my mouth opened and my voice wouldn’t do what my brain told it to I just went with it and it all worked out! Or well so I think :p

UTGC_Begin

5. Getting featured in a school newspaper!!

Now this one had me all kinds of excited. I was asked to comment as President of the Nigerian Students Association on a Nigerian issue. That was one of the few moments where I felt responsible for my team and communicating a strong positive message to whoever read the article.

http://ryersonjournalism.ca/2015/01/28/what-makes-one-horrific-event-more-newsworthy-than-another/

4. Cooking for a crowd

Now as the daughter of 1qfoodplatter you would think that cooking for people is something I do on the regular and while I would like to agree with you, that is a LIE! I lived on residence for all four years of uni and I had a meal plan so the need to cook was very minimal. Anyhow when your student group is trying to maintain its finances, you’ll do things you weren’t sure you could. That is the very basic story of how I cooked for 30 people 0_0.

3. Getting an Award

I don’t think of myself as an overachieving student by any means. I think I was rather modest in my overall involvement and well if I didn’t feel like doing a reading I just didn’t do it (sorry Mama&Daddy). That being said, I was very pleasantly surprised to be awarded the UC Merit Award “for my contributions to student life”. Getting an award in my graduating year was a goal I set for myself so this was a real kicker

Enang Ukoh_UC Merit Award Recepient - Copy

2. Terracotta!!!

Oh of all the things I did this year, Terracotta was right up there on my scale of challenging! Just to clarify, Terracotta is the culture show presented by NSA UofT.  This year I directed the show. The tears, the hours, the stress but also the people in this show made this an unforgettable experience. I also made costumes for the show which was pretty fun!

Enang Ukoh Terracotta_Begin

1. Presidency

So many of the things I did this year and the people I met were a consequence of my presidency. I learned a lot about myself and I feel like I was better for this experience. Sometimes it felt like I took on way more than I could handle but time after time I received strength to do a little bit more. I wasn’t a perfect leader by any stretch and I’m still learning from some of the mistakes that I made. Through it all I’m very grateful to God for getting me through.

Enang Ukoh_Begin

In four years I made a lot of memories and I grew and changed every single year. Thank you UofT for my most challenging four years yet. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

Watch your tongue

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Language, Culture and Colonialism.

sew-willyverse-Ibegan

okay so I had originally planned to post my year in review next but life happens so I have a whole new post that I hadn’t really planned to write. Now this might not appeal to all people so if you’re reading this and getting really angry or bored well, not really sure what to tell ya buddy. Oh and you should know this is going to be a long one 🙂 .

Anyhu, a while ago and well every so often this argument bubbles up within my Nigerian circle “why don’t people our age speak their native languages?”. Usually this question is followed by a huge eye-roll from some people (*cough* me) and then the never ending back and forth of how we’re letting our languages die and what shall we do. Now don’t get me wrong I wish I had the diversity of tongue that my parents do. I wish I could sashay between languages without even realizing it and I certainly wish I had a stronger command of my language than I do but somehow it just didn’t happen for me as with many of my peers.

Finally one day as I was thinking in the shower, it finally made sense! We have been discussing the symptoms and completely ignoring the real issue. Language has no basis without culture. No really think about it, has anyone ever told you that in order to learn a language you need to visit the place and truly be immersed in the culture? Same concept! So by this am I implying that Nigerians are losing their culture? Yes and no. Of course as Nigerians I feel most of us can attest to having an undeniable “nigerian-ness” that you just can’t shake, whether it was in your upbringing, your craving for spicy food or the way your body moves when the beat drops and you just can’t deny the gbedu. However how many of us know our history? No I’m not talking about the history we learned in high school that starts at slave trade and continues through colonialism and lands us in this present day confuffled political collective. I mean the history of your people before they ever saw a white man.

Yea its a little more foggy isn’t it? Oh I’m so sure someone is reading this and thinking “well its not like they wrote us a diary to preserve that history” and I would ask you; have you become so heavily dependent on your colonial education that you completely disregard traditional ways of knowing that very effectively passed down knowledge up until a few generations ago? Language is simply the medium through which we tell our stories but if we don’t even know what those stories are then language is nothing but a strange combination of letters that have no value. In order to effectively partake in the intricacy of language, you must first situate yourself in the culture. So are you Yoruba or Edo or Igbo or Efik simply because your parents have told you that’s what you are or do you see your tribe as a fundamental piece of your identity. The honest answer to this question might explain your language proficiency in your native dialect.

Now seeing as I have written this entire post in English I clearly have no issues with a person speaking English or French or Portuguese or whatever the language of your colonizer was. BUT!!! I am no longer content with this cultural cluelessness. For example, why are different traditional marriages conducted the way they are? What is the significance of some of these practices or are we just all kneeling down and pouring alcohol on the ground cause its cool? Why do we eat the way we do? Why do we greet the way we do? Why do we dance the way we do? Without knowing the answers to any of these, language is really just one more thing that I’m barely holding on to.

Picture by Willyverse

Fro’ Tales: Blog feature

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Hey y’all!

I have been under a rock for a minute and that’s going to change at the end of the month when school ends but I thought I’d share some pretty dopesome news.

I was feature on a hair blog!!! 😀 (I know eh! little ol’ me). Karina has an amazing natural hair blog and you should all check it out ^_^

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 presethttp://www.shesgotnigeriancurls.com/post/116460937181/shesgotnigeriancurls-fro-feature-enang-of

Gathe-red

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Gathered Skirt

Full skirt-Enang Ukoh

Hey beautiful people!

So I know I make a lot of skirts but I’m really not sorry. Winter has forced me into a rotating schedule of long sleeves, sweaters and pants. While that’s not all together horrible it gets boring after a while you know. I need to stick it to the weather and expand my skirt collection, I shall overcome!red midi skirt

This time I decided to make this gorgeous gathered skirt and I felt it came out really nice! I was inspired by a skirt my sister has and had hoped to make this a midi skirt but the amount of fabric I had wouldn’t have allowed that happen, nevertheless I am satisfied.

Red skirt- Enang Ukoh-Begin

Making it was relatively easy, I cut out a rectangle 3 times the circumference of my waist (lessons learned from my first midi skirt). After that I set my sewing machine to the largest straight stitch setting and sewed along the edge so I could gather the skirt. After gathering, the rest was simply putting the ends together. I included a zipper which was a little difficult but not horribly so and I finished it off with a little pearl button. Overall I would rate the difficulty a 4/10.

Turtle neck and Skirt- BeginOoo, well this is completely unrelated but I’m really loving the flat twist crown in my hair…Made me feel very princessy 🙂

 

Pictures by Willyverse

Are you woman enough?

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Womanhood

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I’ve always found the title “woman” troubling. More so in my teens than now, nevertheless it is a concept I am still negotiating. I’ve always felt more like a girl, a girl has minimal responsibilities, a girl can do so much more than a woman can. A woman is tied to social expectations and must conform or she will be shamed. A girl could conform to social expectations but the most she would get for deviating from the norm is a cautioning word, likely from the women around her.

I simply could not understand why people were so quick to thrust that word “woman” on me, and I was even more confused about why some people were so eager to adopt it. Cotton ball boobs does not a woman make! It must be earned, I felt. I still do really. A thirteen year old no matter how mature she may look or act is a G-I-R-L! Maybe one or two people may differ but for the majority I say girl.

She is a girl because she has likely achieved little. A woman is accomplished and has much to be proud of. A girl does not have the burden of making tough decisions (except of course between which teen pop sensation would grace her wall next). A woman must make many difficult decisions and she does so with grace. A woman carries great responsibility and exudes confidence with every step.

Then of course there’s me, straddling this fence. Not quite a woman but slowly leaving the carefree ways of a girl behind. I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to be a woman though, its far too grand. I like these inbetweenities where I can watch both phases and simply exist outside of the trappings of either.

Now as I am not yet a woman I can not speak from experience on what it means but I have had plenty experience being a girl and maybe I am idealizing womanhood. I certainly blame all the women in my life for setting such high standards, however maybe I just don’t know the struggle. Maybe every woman is just a girl in high heels, playing a part for the world’s applause. Maybe this is what I am wobbling towards, greatly unsure but faking it till I make it.

All is well

Shifty

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Holiday Shift Dress

Shift dress-begin-Enang-Ukoh

Heya!! and *cough* happy new year!

I know that I have been away for more than a minute but I’m back!!! I needed time to re-energize and come back better than ever 🙂 . Anyhow, before the holiday season was really over I had to sneak in one holiday outfit :D. I felt it was the perfect New Year’s party dress but it would really work for everyday life. I fell in love with the colors and the pattern on this fabric at the store and was a little disappointed because it seemed that it was just a sample size. I was also really disappointed because I had been hunting down a fabric like this for a while. I quickly forgot about it and kept looking for other things in the store when my sister surfaces with the roll of fabric. Excited doesn’t begin to describe how I felt! (in my best new york accent) “It really warmed my heart!”

Sheath dress- Enang Ukoh Begin
I just had to do the exposed zipper

 

Anyhow, when I got home I wasted no time cranking this baby out. It took a few days and plenty of adjustments but I’m really happy with my results! My main challenges with this outfit were the darts and the sleeves. I’m yet to master this science of darts so its always trial and error for me. If anyone has a formula for them I would really appreciate that! Then  the sleeves. (oh boy!) I had initially planned to have a regular short sleeve but for whatever reason as I started sewing I changed my mind and made it a cap sleeve. Now this shouldn’t have been a problem except I couldn’t get both sleeves to match. I honestly don’t know why these things happen to me. Anyhow after much fiddling, undoing and redoing, I finally got them to a tolerable resemblance. My excuse? sleeves shouldn’t be twins they should be sisters 😀 (same excuse I use when I mess up my cat eye)

Shift dress-enang Ukoh

I can see my self dressing this up for a semi-formal event or dressing it down for…well something less formal. Also, as I would be entering the workforce soon, is this the kind of dress one would wear to any work related function? I have a few other outfits brewing so expect me to ask this question a couple more times, but I guess I want to make my transition from student to worker as smooth and fashionable as possible.

Pictures by: Willyverse

‘Fro Tales: Curl parfait

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Edible Conditioning 2

Girrrrrllll! Let me tell you! I’m officially in love with Greek yogurt

First of all, shout out to heramerpersandhim for suggesting this to me in my last post. She said; “I stopped using banana because it was too hard to rinse out. Even when I used the baby formula. I switched to full fat Greek yogurt and never looked back.” For this you the real MVP. I absolutely loved it.

I never thought I’d become a “Kitchen Natural” as I like to call them, so as I went to the grocery store to grab a small tub of Greek yogurt I was saying a silent prayer that it would work or I would have been very upset with myself. With no exact measurements, I mixed Greek yogurt, honey, coconut oil and a few drops of Argan oil. The first thing that stood out to me was that the consistency was smooth unlike my lumpy bumpy banana mix. Processed with VSCOcam with a5 preset

I started off with a week old twist out that was more than a little dry. I left the conditioner in for about 30 minutes and rinsed with hot water. Everything rinsed right out! I wasn’t too confident until I could see my hair for myself though. I partly imagined my hair looking dull for some reason. Anyhow I came out of the shower and BAM!  Soft shiny hair. Now I was really excited. Detangling was a breeze and I braided my hair into two cornrows as usual.Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset

Normally I would have to do a twist out on my damp hair when I take the cornrows down to get a really delicious fro, but not this time. Instant gorgeousness the minute I let the braids loose. I just had to fluff and move it around to frame my face better.

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Overall I was very happy with my results. The only con that I can identify is that the softness was not the same as when I did the banana condition. It was definitely nothing to complain about but the banana seemed to give a lasting softness. That said, I love love love it 🙂

 

ps. I define a kitchen natural as someone who can operate their entire hair regimen out of their kitchen. Nothing wrong with it, I just never thought I’d be one 🙂

‘Fro Tales: Bits and pieces left behind

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Edible conditioning

Kimono--Begin

Hey guys!

so as promised I have another fro tales story for you! This is actually based on a very recent experience so I thought I’d share while emotions are still high.

I’ve never really been one to go grocery shopping for my hair if you know what I mean. So all the hair tutorials that suggest that you should only use edible products on your hair have never really appealed to me. However, my hair has been feeling a little dry and brittle lately and my regular conditioner just wasn’t cutting it so I decided to ramp it up with a banana deep conditioner.

As they say hind sight is 20-20 so there are several things I ought to have done differently but here’s what I did anyway…I got myself one banana, a few oils and some shea butter. I mashed up the banana with a fork (I don’t have a blender), added my oils and shea butter and whisked with my mixer. I figured that the mixer would make it smoother; which it did. I still expected the one or two lumps that remained but I wasn’t too worried. So I applied the mixture to my hair and left it in for about 30 minutes as instructed.

Everything was fine up until this point. I hopped in the shower to rinse it out, but it wasn’t all coming out so easily. I figured some of those lumps I mentioned earlier had gotten caught in my curls so I washed and rinsed again. Still feeling a few lumps, I decided to give it one final scrub with some conditioner and rinsed out. By this time I was certain I had gotten most if not all of it out. so I walked out of the shower. To my absolute horror my entire head was still very speckled with banana bits.

I remained in denial until I got into my room and tried to comb it out. Alas since I had washed my hair with hot water, the banana bits had cooked on my strands so just combing through wasn’t going to cut it. Two days of brushing through my hair and I finally managed to get most of it out. I currently still have a few pieces here and there that I find when I’m going through my hair.

The highlight of all of this is that my hair really did feel very soft and moisturized afterwards so I will definitely try this again, BUT there are some things I will do differently.

1. rinse with cold water

2. strain the crushed banana to get rid of the bigger lumps

3. find a way to blend the mixture to an even smoother consistency.

I hope this is a more successful experience on my next try 🙂 wish me luck!

 

picture by: Willyverse

3 step hair routine

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  I’ve missed blogging so much!

Hey Guys!

I know I haven’t been on here for a while, but lets just go ahead and blame school for that. That being said, I’m happy to be done with midterms for a little while and to be able to blog and sew and just live again. The second reason I haven’t been here though is because I haven’t really known what to blog about, but that’s okay I guess. Anyhu I’m here now and I figured I’d talk about my hair routine.

So I have condensed this process over the years and I’m hoping to condense it further so if you have any suggestions please comment below 🙂

1. Pre-poo

Okay I won’t even lie I don’t do this all the time, but if I feel like my hair needs a little more tlc I will saturate it with conditioner and detangle about 30 minutes before I head into the shower. Detangling before I shower makes my in shower routine go by a lot faster. My current conditioner is the Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. It does the job, but I still feel like I might need a deep conditioner. I section my hair off into manageable twists

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The only four products I use

2. Shower.

On the days that I shampoo my hair, I rinse out the conditioner, go in with my Shea Moisture (shea butter) shampoo and scrub. I only go in once with the shampoo unless I really need it. Other times, I simply co-wash my hair. I take the twists down and further detangle with the help of the water pressure. I generally recondition my hair  for a few minutes, then rinse with cold water. I don’t know how true this is but cold water is supposed to help you lock in the goodness from your conditioner. I also make sure to rinse my hair by tugging and smoothing down sections under the water. This keeps it detangled and helps my curls clump better

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3. Post-wash

I can no longer be bothered to style my hair from its soaking wet state because it simply takes to long. Now I coat my hair with the Auntie Jackie’s curling custard and a Shea butter+coconut oil mix and braid my hair into two large cornrows. I find that its easier to style my already stretched hair or to at least work with damp hair because it more likely to dry. 3 step hair routine

As far as products go I generally do what works best or what I can afford 🙂 (student life). I really liked the shea moisture deep conditioner but I ran out and haven’t repurchased because its pretty scarce in Canada and also rather pricy. I also really like the smell of the Aunt Jackie’s curling custard. This is really awesome to me because some natural hair products smell too “earthy”.

 

Hope this was helpful/interesting for my sistas…peace out!

ps. I have a new “fro-tales” story coming soon so look out 🙂