My Hair is a Sassy Lover | Fro’ Tales

My relationship with my Natural Hair

My hair has way too much attitude for her own good. Let’s call my fro Freddy. Freddy and I have been going steady for about 3 years. When I first met Freddy, I was still involved with my ex but that relationship just wasn’t working anymore. I felt I was getting burned too often and over time it became clear that we couldn’t weather the cold winters so slowly I stated cutting my ex out of my life.

Freddy and I have been through a lot since then. I’ve learned what makes Freddy happy and in return she’s helped me see myself in a completely different light. The longer we’ve been together though, the more Freddy and I don’t seem to see eye to eye. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to pieces but lately I think she’s taking my love for granted.

I’ll take some responsibility for this; I got a little lazy with our relationship. I started moisturizing less and using heat more. Things got so bad that I couldn’t even remember the last time I deep conditioned. That’s when Freddy started to pull away. I noticed my first heat damaged piece and only then did I step back and look at how much I was hurting her. I didn’t just want to apologize because I knew she would respond just like one of my best friends, “What are you sorry for?” while maintaining her salty attitude. I decided to change completely and start paying more attention. I started with a good trim, stopped leaving her out as much and started conditioning more. I thought things were getting better until she started acting up.

Now I’ve been a lot busier with work so I need Freddy to stay put till the weekends when I can give her my full attention but three days into the week she’s already begging for a wash. Now I know this is all a clever ruse to get me to condition her again because she’s gone much longer than a few days without any problems but now she’ll go dry and matted on the ends if I don’t answer her call for moisture.

I have tried new conditioners and even locking her in with her favourite shea butter mix but she insists on misbehaving unless I’m giving her undivided attention at least twice a week. Things really came to a head two washes ago when I hadn’t detangled properly after our last wash day and she wasn’t having any of my nonsense this time around. My arms hurt, the bathroom steamed up and I practically had to beg her to release the knots. Grudgingly letting one knot out after the other, it was like she was daring me to repeat the same thing. I promised her (and myself) that she deserved better than that and I thought we had both agreed to collaborate more.

Three days later we were back to an itchy scalp and that’s when I decided I had had enough. I told her it was time for some braids and even though she may not understand right now, I think we both need the break. Surprisingly she didn’t put up much of a fight going in and I had even started to question whether I had reacted too harshly but by the end of my first full week with these braids she’s already wiling out and trying to get itchy. I miss her but its probably best that we give each other some space for a couple weeks just to gain a little perspective.

Even with her attitude though she still makes me happy. Something about her keeps things interesting and speaking to other naturals I think they’ll agree, when you look at your thriving fro, it makes (some of) the stress worth it :p

 

 

 

 

Fits and Starts

Rediscovering my blog’s purpose

willyverse image

Hi Guys!

Today I thought I’d go to my about page and try to refresh myself on why I started blogging in the first place. If you’ve never read it before here’s what it says :

Its all about that very first step. The fear of trying and failing should never be enough to keep you from the amazing experiences life has to offer. This is my first step, my beginning if you will, of taking hold of these experiences. I hope this blog inspires someone to think in technicolor. To try something they never thought they could do. Follow me as I share my thoughts on my ongoing projects, baking recipes and a few colorful musings.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Peace, Love and Respect,

E.

Now as far as recipes go I think I’ve posted like one in the entire history of my blog (LOL!) but over all I still feel like this statement resonates with me.

I still want to inspire people to try things that they would ordinarily not do because frankly if I can do it anyone can! I don’t say that to dump on myself; I think I’m a pretty cool person :p but I knew nothing about sewing when I started this blog and now I’m over here crafting bomber jackets and what not.

I thought I would be too scared to write what I truly felt when I first started. It all felt a bit vulnerable and soul-baring hence why I didn’t tell many people about it at first. I still feel that way sometimes; when thing feel too new or too bold, I like to sit with them quietly and get comfortable with them before showing them to the world.

So on the topic of starting, there would be a few things in my life that would be starting this year. One of which would be my business with a dear friend :). We are creating handmade pillows and when things advance a bit more I would be sharing pictures and details and all that jazz, but yea 😀 I’m pretty excited and very nervous.

I’m glad I re-read my about page today. It made me feel all warm and content on the inside. I’ve thought about re-branding my blog many times because frankly if you googled “Begin” you’re probably just going to get the definition of the word but until I find something that still speaks this message, I think I’ll stay put.

Well this ended up being a lot more conversational than I anticipated 😛

Hope you’re all having a great week!

Picture by Willyverse

 

Love Lessons

Thoughts before Valentine’s Day

Hey Guys!

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So Valentine’s day has crept up on us yet again and the overwhelming feeling of despair is setting in…what cute and affordable thing can I get this person (cause to be real Christmas wasn’t so long ago and gifts ain’t cheap), is there somewhere I can build-a-bae? cause I’m not trying to be alone for yet another year, and of course the people who are gearing up to declare their undying love to an unsuspecting crush on this one special day.

Now I was prepared to give some kind of love advice, you know; get her flowers, write her letters, brush her hair and feed her grapes but the truth is, I know nothing!

Last year I got all deep and spoke about the meaning of love and everything I said there still stands so if you’re trying to decide if you love someone feel free to check that out :).

But yes, I have come to terms with the fact that I know next to nothing on the “affairs of the heart”. It’s funny because in high school I considered myself to be the “dear Dolly” of my peers. I had advice on deck for every relationship question known to my teenage mind. Boyfriend not answering your texts? Want him to ask you out? Feeling pressured to stay? I had a response for EVERYTHING! The only problem was that people just never seemed to listen.

I would spend hours advising a friend on why she should leave the toxic relationship that she’s in and she would agree with me only to call me a few days later to tell me that they made up -_-.

I have come to realize however that I wasn’t giving any revolutionary advice. 9 times out of 10 she probably knew exactly what was right and she also knew she wasn’t ready to do what was right. This is the part that baffles me till today, especially when I see myself following the exact same patterns (*gasp!*).

Maybe we’re not really looking for advice but just speaking so we can hear it out loud or maybe we’re really all just a little bit crazy and we don’t want to do what we know would be best.

I don’t know why we do the things we do (and I’m saying we because I feel most people have fallen into this trap of foolishness at some point).

Maybe I do have one teeny tiny piece of advice: Someone thinks you’re more than good enough, Someone wants to be the reason you smile at your phone randomly and there is definitely someone who wants to brush your hair and feed you grapes :p. So don’t sweat it…life, love and lessons happen 🙂 and you’re doing just fine!

Happy almost Valentine’s day.

Style goals

Hey guys,

As the new year is waiting in the wings and everyone is making plans and setting goals for 2016, I thought it fit to set my style goals. 2015  was the year of the bae and there are certainly style elements from 2015 that made the bae-list. 2016 will be the year to commit-or-commot [commit or get out] so I suppose I’ll see how many of these elements stand the test of time.

2015 was a good style year for me I feel (check back again in 5 years and I may feel very different) but I feel I found my beat style wise. Here are a few of my favorite looks and trends from 2015

  1. This Whole look
    I was a huge fan of the eyeliner dots trend in 2015. I felt it appealed to my baby doll side :). I had a few variations of the dots under my eyes; three dots, one dot, dots on only one side, whatever I was feeling really. I was inspired by Itsmyrayeraye and Lianne la Havas.
    Then of course there were the boyfriend shirts–always plaid or striped, perfectly oversized–these were just plain comfortable and lack that overt sexiness [WINNING!].
    Finally the high bun. This was such a staple seeing as all of my hair could finally make it all the way up my head :P. As much as I liked the black lipstick look, I didn’t rock it nearly enough to say that it was an element of my style this year.

 

Fro tales

2. Turtlenecks and sneakers

Seeing as winter hung around for a long time in Canada, I found a very faithful friend in my turtlenecks. No scarf necessary and will give any outfit an extra boost. I also wore my converses an whole lot more and seeing as slip-ons are back I brought those into my life again. Currently stalking a pair of New Balance’s right now but we’ll see if its more than just a crush :P.

turtleneck outfit ideas

3. Femininity

While my first two points may weaken the case I’m trying to make here, I know for a fact that my style had a real feminine lick this year. I was determined to put out more grown woman vibes so I definitely made an effort. This was the dress I designed for my graduation; décolleté, silk, earrings and all. (For those who know me, earrings are a big step). Not that I’ve ever really been a tomboy but 2015 saw me in a lot more cocktail dresses and demure accents than ever before.

Cocktail dress

4. Blue

Well pastels in general but blue especially was kind to me in 2015. I still don’t think I have a favourite colour because at some point purple was bae but blue definitely had my heart this year.

african girl

Looking forward to 2016 knowing that God has great plans for me. Wishing everyone the very best in all that you set out to do this coming year and I trust that you will slay as you do it 😉